After 26 years of donning fat suits, fake teeth, and elaborate wigs to fool restaurant staff, Tom Sietsema has finally stepped out of the shadows. The Washington Post’s legendary restaurant critic revealed his identity publicly for the first time as he concluded a tenure that transformed DC’s dining scene through more than 1,200 scathing and celebratory restaurant reviews.
Sietsema’s commitment to anonymity bordered on the theatrical. He booked reservations under aliases, avoided family photos that might surface online, and maintained what amounted to a witness protection lifestyle—all to experience restaurants as regular customers do.
“It’s almost impossible to review anonymously for any length of time, especially now given technology,” Sietsema acknowledged in his farewell, admitting defeat to smartphones and social media surveillance.
The Art of Invisible Dining
Extreme measures preserved authentic customer experiences for nearly three decades.
Sietsema’s disguise arsenal rivaled any Hollywood costume department. The fake teeth changed his bite and speech patterns. Wigs altered his silhouette. The fat suits—perhaps his most committed deception—completely transformed his physical presence at restaurant tables.
He averaged visits to 10 restaurants weekly, authoring roughly 50 dining guides alongside his reviews, all while maintaining this elaborate charade. His motivation remained pure: capturing genuine service and food quality without the red-carpet treatment critics typically receive.
Restaurant staff treating you like royalty makes for terrible journalism when your job is representing everyday diners.
- 26 years as The Washington Post’s principal restaurant critic (2000-2026)
- 1,200+ restaurant reviews and 50 dining guides published
- Elaborate disguises including fat suits, wigs, fake teeth, and aliases
- Notorious reviews like his 2018 La Vie pan: “so bad I’m only writing about it as a warning”
- Future plans include cooking, traveling, and dining without subterfuge
End of an Anonymous Era
Technology and social media made traditional critic anonymity nearly obsolete.
Sietsema’s reveal marks more than a career transition—it signals the death of old-school restaurant criticism. Instagram stories, staff turnover, and digital recognition software have made sustained anonymity virtually impossible.
Even legendary critics now operate in an era where every meal might be documented and shared instantly. Despite accusations of favoring upscale establishments, Sietsema publicly embraced everyday pleasures alongside fine dining—defending his appreciation for Popeyes and Fritos as enthusiastically as any tasting menu.
His influence shaped not just where Washingtonians dined, but how they thought about food criticism itself. Now Sietsema looks forward to exploring food as a private individual, free from disguises and professional obligation.
The man who spent decades hiding in plain sight can finally enjoy a meal without wondering if his cover is blown.
